For those of you who don't know me, my name is Natisha. I have been a Christian for almost four years- although I believed in God and went to church before then, God only became real to me after both my parents turned away from God. It was from there I developed my own faith and commitment to God.
My life growing up hasn't been easy. Both my parents had me at a young age, although my father had already had a daughter previously he said he wasn't ready for another one and my parents separated to live their own lives before I was born. My dad now has six kids counting me and a lovely wife, my mum- she has three kids counting me and a boyfriend.
There have been many times in my life when I have struggled with who I was because whenever I needed someone to talk to I could never talk to my parents about it because it was as though they had a competition going at who could be a better parent so they would try to give me a huge explanation I didn’t understand so it would sound better than the others and this caused me to feel more confused and so alone.
At first when I became a Christian I always believed God only ever wanted to hear the good stuff in life so often when it came time to pray I would be lost for words. At times I have felt like it wasn’t worth living any more and I started to let my heartache control my life, but during this time God revealed himself to me - He showed me He wanted to comfort me and also to guide and direct my life - He showed me I would never be alone. He was always there.
All my life I tried to be someone I wasn't just so I could feel accepted and like I fitted in, but I became this person I didn't even know myself . I had a split personality - at home I was someone, at church, at school, hanging out with friends, I became a completely different person at each surrounding. I was trying to live up to everyone else’s standards and I wasn't true to myself and what I believed in, inside the real me was screaming to be let loose to show people a glimpse of who I really was. I wanted to know myself who I was - my purpose for life I spent so long trying to be someone else I forgot who I really was.
Being a teenager isn't easy, I know - I am one! But don't make the same mistake I did by not letting people know who you are and what you believe in, you'll find more people understand and accepting these days. Louise is a great testament to this. She was open to what I believed and now she's a Christian. All I had to do was share God’s faithfulness and love with her and God did the rest.
In my life so far I have struggled with depression, rejection and the longing desire to feel loved. I was willing to settle for any kind of love and I made some decisions I regret but finally someone taught me I didn't need to earn love with God. He loved me no matter what I had done or what I was going to do, I just had to accept him and turn away from my sin.
If there’s one thing I have learnt in my life so far it’s this: even though God’s people might feel depressed and bummed out we should not give into it. Instead we should learn to honour God and do what is right regardless of the mess we're in.
Becoming a Christian was the best decision I ever made and my life has changed dramatically since I did. The most awesome thing that has happened to me since I became a Christian would be the Youth Service we had at the Invercargill Christian Centre. I attended a youth group called Revolution there and this one Saturday night during the youth service the old youth Pastor Lyle Pennisula called Revolution down the front. As he walked along the front praying and seeking God he called me forward from everyone else out of Revolution and prophesied that I was going to sing and lead God’s people into worship a week later this prophesy was fulfilled when I was asked to join my church worship team. Before that night I had only met Lyle a couple of times so I didn't know him personally- he didn't even know my name. It was then I realised God’s awesomeness and power it boosted my faith so much.
As a Christian and a person, God has given me an endless and overwhelming love for those who are broken and hurting. At times it's as if I know and can feel their pain and I just want them to be relieved from it. I know this love was a gift from God as I only received it after I became a Christian. I know god has purpose for it and I pray every day that I can share it with others so they don’t have to feel the pain I have known.
If this testimony has done one thing today I pray that it has touched someone that is hurting and broken. I pray that this enables you to understand that you are never alone - trust God with your heart and your life, He wants to nurture and care for you - remember no heartache is more significant than another in God’s eyes, no matter how big or how small God wants to take it from your shoulders- just let Him lift that burden. You will never regret it - I haven't!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NATISHA LUSTY 11RT 27/06/2006
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